Gothic-Winter

I'm done. I don't see a point in life anymore, and believe me, I've tried. All I wanted to do was make some sort of difference in the world, to die a somebody...But I know now that won't ever happen. I'm nothing and always will be. People call me a dreamer, and that's all I'll ever be. Nothing more, just alone in my own world, trying to escape this twisted and cruel place. I've had enough, I'm at breaking point...This is it. I'll leave no legacy, people will forget about what little imprint I had on their lives and memories of me will fade into nothing. That's just the way it is. ...I give in...

I'm ready to explode. I can't take this anymore, I can't handle the utter ignorance of some people! I'm going to scream and pull my hair out if this keeps up, I would punch them, but that's kind of difficult to do when the other person is in a different country. So, I'll just black out in pure rage, and punch the door until either the door breaks, or my hands do. -___- I'm absolutely sick of people that won't just shut up for 20 seconds to let me explain my point. I got into an argument with a friend..or rather, boyfriend. I was talking about a video that was making fun of Americans. Now, before I get more ranting, I have NOTHING against Amer

Well..Where do I start? It's been quiet some time since I logged on...I don't suppose anyone's really interested but for anyone who is, this is just gonna be an update I guess. I'm not even sure where I left off honestly :/ For the past few months, I've shut myself off from the rest of the world, I've been out once, and even then I stayed in the car while my parents went shopping. The only sort of contact I have with the outside world is here, and my email, though I've sort of been neglecting that recently. I've started taking my meds regularly; my mum says they help but I don't see it. Yes, I smile more and I'm a little more talkative but on

Saying goodbye is never an easy thing, whether it be to a loved one or a pet. When you know in your heart that it's the last time you'll see them, saying goodbye is always painful. I had to say goodbye to someone recently, he was my brother in law. My older sister had married him a few years back, but they divorced not long after. He was a good friend to my parents, and became a good friend to me. My parents talked with him often and with him living across the street from us, I dropped by to see him whenever I could, mostly on my way home from school. I wasn't able to say my farewell at the funeral, I was crying so much, my parents

I don't know what I'm doing with my life anymore. I feel like I'm just following the same routine everyday. I want to do something with my life, I don't want to be stuck at home or in a classroom. I want to be out there, doing what I love. The trouble is, it's just so difficult for a 15 year old to get a job, the most I could hope for is some stupid paper round or working at a supermarket. For some people, that's enough, that's what they enjoy doing. It's not what I'd enjoy though. I would love to get a job or just voluteer somewhere I want to be, but I can't, there's always something standing in the way. I can't afford to take a ph

Have you ever done something that you know you shouldn't do, but at the time you think there's no way anyone would find out. Then someone does find out..? Well that's kinda the problem I'm trying to deal with right now.. I won't go into detail about it but, basically my parents are gonna find out pretty soon, that I've been um..how should I put this...Well lets just say I've been watching some things that I probably shouldn't be watching and my mum & dad will be finding out soon...and if they, by which I mean dad, doesn't murder me, then he'll disown me and throw me outa the house, (literally throw me out). So, I've been rocking ba

No one...Nothing. Just a dark, empty void. The bright light of happiness has been lost for such a long time, it's impossible to think that it's still there. The shadows of sadness, depression and guilt claw their way forward; climbing up the walls & flooding the ground. The darkness wraps itself around my mind. It strangles my heart. What was once alive with joy and innocence, is now nothing more than an empty shell. Those shadows of pain, they consume me from the inside, eating my soul, my essence...my life. Until I am nothing. These dark beings are in my mind, yet they seem so real. It's almost as if I could reach out and run my hand throug